So we have some context. Nothing happens in a vacuum, does it. No one is immune from the effects of his/her culture, even though many people believe that they are. And this applies whether that culture is one's country, one's religion, one's family, one's social network, one's vocation, one's friends, one's economic class.
But let's take these in turn, or the whole thing can become a bit overwhelming. People are used to thinking in terms of family when they think of psychotherapy, and this is for some good reasons, of course. We are born, most immediately, into a family context (defining "family" rather loosely), and it is this immediate and original context that will have some of the most influential effects on us. Some of the most personal effects. Even though the family is a carrier of the culture(s) within which one operates, a microcosm of the macrocosm of larger culture, the relationships between family members is the most intimate and effectual, right from the start. We are fed, cleaned, warmed, protected - or we are not - by some person or persons who constitute our original "family". We are completely dependent, incapable of survival without this connection.
Child rearing practices vary. Relationship dynamics vary. Mother/child and father/child norms vary. Expectations vary. Values vary. Ideas about what constitutes health and propriety and right and wrong vary. A look at some of the historically normal treatments of children in Western culture might suggest that children - like women - have been considered possessions,
liabilities or assets, depending on what work they could or could not be put to, just another mouth to feed, sent out to fend for themselves or to contribute to the family's survival as soon as possible. This sort of thing has multiple and often damaging implications.
We are accustomed to giving great lip service to the value and care of children, but the realities seem to tell the true story of our basic values. We dump our children into industrialized pre and public schools even before they can sit up on their own. We chronically under fund our public educational system and under pay our children's teachers. We squirm at the thought of providing basic, decent housing, health care, food or higher education to our children. Etc., etc., etc. Just look at where the money in our society goes, and where it does not go, and the value system we operate by becomes pretty clear.
All of this has profound implications for families, and thereby for children, and thereby for you and for me. I'm calling the value system that we operate by a system of inherent trauma. A value system that inherently traumatizes. A value system that undermines the fundamental psychological, emotional and spiritual needs of all of us. And we are all effected deeply, and negatively, by this.
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