Saturday, October 31, 2009

Enhanced Functioning In The World

How to be more functional and effective in the world? In relationships, in marriage, at work, as parents, as partners, as individuals. How to discover and identify who one truly is, in terms of one's needs and wants, in terms of one's souls' desires, in terms of what is of fundamental importance, and what isn't. How to trust others to truly be present for you, especially when this has not been a common experience in all of your life? How to find the kind of balance in life, among all of the various areas of demand and desire, that is a prerequisite for real satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness? How to live as though your depths actually mattered?

Hmm. As I like to say, on at least one level, none of this is rocket science. That is, it's not so difficult to understand the basics. Be true to yourself, as in, listen to your heart and soul, and follow their lead. Show up, that is, be present to yourself and to those you care about. Be willing to take meaningful risks in order to be true and real. Ask for and accept the genuine support of others who care about you. Learn to set your priorities in order, and to apply your energies in proportion to those priorities. Choose you battles: not everything is worth a big effort. Pace yourself.

Don't imagine that you will wake up one morning and somehow, miraculously, be "finished", that is, free from all of your old patterns; re-born into a new person who has no neurotic tendencies;
a person for whom everything now is easy and fluid and fresh and without conflict and without difficult feelings and without aspects of self that you don't like. Instead, understand that whatever changes you want to make will require consistent application of skill and awareness. Understand that your old patterns will indeed continue to present themselves, on a regular basis, and that that doesn't mean that you are failing. It simply means that you are now aware of them, and this awareness opens the door to possibility.

Step One: Awareness; Step Two: Acceptance; Step Three: Choice; Step Four: Application
Something like that. Quite orderly, really.

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