It's sad to see how biased we are, as a culture, against sadness and grief. People are often afraid that sadness means depression, and that grief is dangerous and something to be gotten through as quickly as possible. We've all heard people say things like "You've just got to get over it and move on with your life". Of course, these people think they're being helpful, and we can probably assume that their motivations are good. They want the best for us. They want us to feel better. It's also almost a certainty that they are themselves seriously afraid of - and inexperienced with, in any healthy way - the experiences of grief and sadness.
The reality is that both sadness and grief are common, ordinary human experiences, and they occur just about daily for just about everyone. Most of the time we don't experience them though, because we've learned how to very skillfully deny them, and push them out of awareness. We carry on as though they didn't exist. We smile and let everyone know how happy we are. It's too bad really. As with other "unfelt" emotions, over time we develop habits and styles of being that prove to be detrimental, both for us as individuals, and in our relationships.
Learning to trust and to allow these so called "negative" emotions is an important part of psychological and relationship health. Learning how to creatively and appropriately work with these feelings is a key to personal freedom, wellbeing, strength and authenticity. Hopefully you'll take the time to learn more about sadness and grief, how to include them in your emotional repertoire, and how to let them enrich your life.
